Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I could make wine with my vomit
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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