i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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