I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just google imaged poop.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
