did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
