omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
