I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just blew my weed a kiss
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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