What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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