Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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