McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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