So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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