Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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