I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
