PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
