just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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