we're blogging at a bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
