in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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