i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize