I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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