From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
