quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
