seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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