There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize