after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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