Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.