I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
