Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
