Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
