apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize