We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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