Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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