i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
