Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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