I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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