You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
