sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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