i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
