Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
