After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
