singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he was CRYING into my vagina
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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