Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
