I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
