i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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