Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
