He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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