your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
