i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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