Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh god it's open bar.
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