How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
