I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
