ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
