This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
