I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
