She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize