So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
