I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
