I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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