You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
