You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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