I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
