Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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