i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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