she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
