Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry oxoelise hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

Fav 12 980 2247
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

Fav 4 4750 1065
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

Fav 11 4225 1480
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

Fav 14 6715 1424
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

Fav 7 1639 856
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

Fav 5 1801 747
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

Fav 0 1205 1078
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night

Fav 0 453 107
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Are you going to regret this?

(404): View more from Georgia

No I do t think so

(949): View more from California

Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.

Fav 1 37 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT