You're completely useless in the revolution.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
