Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
