apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
