A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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